1
Keep your lips soft. A soft, smooth, and slightly-moist mouth is ideal for kissing. Before you move in, you should make sure your lips aren't chapped or dry so your partner isn't distracted or put off by the state of your lips. If you want to soften your lips before you go in for the kiss, you should try these quick fixes:
- Use chapstick. Swipe some over your lips and press them together. (If you're a girl and you have flavored chapstick, all the better!) The only caveat is that you should apply lip balm or gloss an hour or more before you kiss, so your kissing partner feels your soft lips, not the thick layer of gloss over them.
- Drink water. Dry lips are a sign of dehydration, so throw back a tall glass of water (or two). You should notice your lips starting to smooth out within 20 to 30 minutes.
- Lick your lips. If you're really in a pinch and have no time to spare, quickly run your tongue over your lips and press them together. This should moisten them slightly without making them slobbery or slick. You can even lick your lips a bit subtly while making eye contact with your kissing partner.
2
Freshen your breath. You never want to have bad breath when you are about to kiss someone, whether the kiss is a French kiss or not. Because your mouth will be open in a French kiss, fresh breath is especially important. Practice good dental hygiene. If you know you are about to kiss someone, take a second to brush your teeth or at least rinse out your mouth with water.
- Always have breath mints or mint-flavored gum with you if you think there is a chance you might kiss someone while you are out. If you want to be subtle, you can quickly suck on a breath mint or chew gum for a minute in the bathroom, so you don't make it too obvious that you're ready to kiss.
- Avoid foods that leave an unpleasant aftertaste or residue, particularly garlic, coffee, onions, milk, and corn. If you're on a dinner date before the big kiss, try to eat strategically.
3
Find the right moment. A good kiss—especially a first kiss or first French kiss—is the culmination of a building tension and growing intimacy. Choose your moment right to make sure you and your partner are both in a mindset to really lose yourselves in the kiss. You should have privacy and should both be feeling romantic instead of stressed or distracted, for one thing. When is the moment right? It depends on your individual situation, but here are a few signs to keep in mind:
- You have complete privacy. Whether you're alone on your balcony or sitting on a secluded bench in a park, you're not worried that someone will interrupt you.
- The other person keeps dropping hints, like locking eyes and looking at your lips, or standing or sitting progressively closer to you. Whether you are kissing a boy or a girl, their body language should give you a clue about whether now is the right time to make your move.
- You're ending a date that went really well. In the car or on the porch are both good semi-private locations for a goodnight kiss.
- It just seems right. If you feel overwhelmingly compelled to kiss someone, don't be too afraid to just go for it. (Just be prepared for an awkward or even troubling situation if you discover your intended didn't feel the same way.)
- Ask. If you aren't sure whether the other person is feeling it, bring up the topic. Better to get permission semi-awkwardly and go ahead with confidence than risk missing out on your chance to kiss that special someone (accidentally kiss someone who isn't interested).
4
Make eye contact. Gaze deeply into the other person's eyes. If you want to make your intentions extra clear, slowly move your gaze to his or her lips, then back up to the eyes. You can even make intense eye contact, break it for a few seconds, and then look back at the person. This is a way of showing the person you want to kiss that you're pleasantly overwhelmed at the sight of him or her.
- Girls can even look at a guy, look down, and then look up through their lashes to be extra flirtatious.
5
Smile. If you're really excited about the prospect of kissing the other person, show it! A smile keeps the situation light and fun, while helping him or her feel safe and relaxed. Make sure your smile is soft and genuine, however, and not a forced, too-wide, or overly intense smile. Just slowly and languidly ease your lips into a smile. Show your future kissing partner how happy you are to be in his or her company. Continue to make eye contact as you do this, or break it for a few seconds before you return it.
- You can opt for a close-lipped smile instead of smiling while showing your teeth, which might come off more as friendly than alluring or romantic.
6
Break the touch barrier. Once you're alone with the person you like and you're smiling and making eye contact, you can decide if you want to go in for the kiss without touching, or if you want to break the touch barrier first. This can mean sitting with your legs touching, holding hands, putting your hand on the person's knee, stroking the person's arm, or just giving a sign of affection. If you've kissed the person on the lips before, then breaking the touch barrier may feel more natural for you, and you should make an effort to touch the person before you touch lips so both of you feel more at ease.
- You can also break the touch barrier as you're moving in to kiss the person. If you're standing, you can touch the person's arms, neck, or shoulders as you move in for the kiss. If you're sitting, you can put a hand on the person's back.
7
Move in. When the moment seems right, go in for the approach. In general, you should be moving slowly enough that the other person has time to say no, but not so slow that the moment loses its spark. When you start to get the feeling that your kissing partner is ready for the next step, you shouldn't dilly dally. Move your body toward his or her body until your heads are just a few inches apart. That's when you'll have to start angling your head for the best kissing position.
- Take it slow. The slow approach builds tension and anticipation. Move in at a pace that gives the other person a chance to consent (or not). When they see you coming in, they may move to meet you, so going slow will prevent you from accidentally bumping heads.
8
Tilt your head slightly to one side. Meeting head-on will result in bumping noses. Instead, just tilt your head slightly to the left or right. If you notice the other person going in one direction, pick the opposite. Don't put too much pressure on yourself to do this perfectly. If you and your partner end up kissing each other head-on and bumping noses a bit, then you'll naturally adjust your heads into a more comfortable position, where your noses aren't in the way.
- Unlike what you may think from the movies, this doesn't have to happen in slow motion. You'll tilt your head as you move closer to the person, not at a snail's pace, so you don't have to worry about having the time to get it perfect.
9
Close your eyes. Just before you make contact, close your eyes. Kissing with your eyes open is generally associated with dishonesty and insincerity, and keeping your eyes closed will help you focus on and enjoy what's happening on your lips. Also, while you may be tempted to open your eyes to see what your kissing partner looks like in the throes of passion, this could actually unexpectedly make you crack up or not feel in the mood to kiss anymore. Closing your eyes can also help you focus on your mouth and to live in the moment, instead of trying to observe everything that's happening at close range.
- You can slowly open your eyes later, when you pull apart after the kiss.
10
Keep your mouth in a kissable position. Don't present a stiff pucker, like you would if you went in to kiss your grandma — not only does it communicate non-romantic feelings, but it makes it physically difficult for your partner to initiate a French kiss. On the other hand, keeping your mouth completely loose and still also says that you're not interested. Here's how to hit a happy medium:
- Pucker just a little. Push your lips forward slightly, so that you feel the slightest hint of muscle tension around them.
- Open your mouth slightly. Instead of aggressively going in for a fully open-mouthed kiss at first, keep your lips just barely parted enough that a tongue could slip between them.
